In my last blog, I told you about a new term I had learnt — thirst trap. 45 days into 2020, and I already have another word for you — reply guy. Of course, you can google it, I didn't make it up.
2020 has been good. As promised, I have been my only priority. I finished working on a book, which was launched by Mohammad Azharuddin, btw, and am about to get onto the next book. I took a quick vacation (to a land that must not be named in the wake of coronavirus) and that helped me in a lot of ways.
As I visit my blog for no reason, I happen to notice a draft I had saved in June 2016. I had named it 'seeking love', but had never published it. Before moving ahead, I would like you to read my thoughts from then.
"It's been over ten months since I had penned down my thoughts. I would always wonder how could my colleagues write so many (and such awesome) blogs every other day, probably the desire to tell a story never dies in them. And as I ponder upon which part of my life to open up about - I choose love.
"Love is that feeling we are always looking out for, yet it's the one feeling that's so unfamiliar to us - My friend S had put it across so beautifully. It's been a long time since I fell out of love, and the desire to fall back in love with a totally different person scared me. Yes, love did come knocking on my door but I had to turn it away, probably I was not ready for it yet. But it's the feeling of being in love that I miss, not the person. It's knowing that someone over there is glad to bear with your insanity all his life, that there's someone who would put you ahead of him, and I can go on... Of course, you could argue that friendship is a lifetime bond too but love, is different, is special.
As I enjoy being single and independent, I know that my heart is secretly looking for love, that person who will mend my heart. But I shall wait for that person to cross paths, and just like every other love story, mine would be complete too."
Fast forward to 2020! I read and I ponder, three-and-a-half years have changed me so much. I promise that I am less cheesy and less cringy now. I have realised that I can be happy in a relationship, and even without it. This feeling is liberating. I don't have to worry about someone reaching home safe every day, if the other person has had medications on time, or if this person has managed to eat at all owing to a busy schedule. I have started sleeping by 11 pm, something that I thought is impossible. How could I say no to another episode of my favourite series? But guess that's what happens when you make yourself the priority and just do things that you want to do, without seeking anybody else's approval.
On the last note, probably my next blog would be about me meeting a therapist and taking notes on how not to be so self-obsessed. Also, maybe, Happy Valentine's Day to those who care. I would also like to remind you that February 21 is celebrated as Breakup Day, in case it helps.
Fast forward to 2020! I read and I ponder, three-and-a-half years have changed me so much. I promise that I am less cheesy and less cringy now. I have realised that I can be happy in a relationship, and even without it. This feeling is liberating. I don't have to worry about someone reaching home safe every day, if the other person has had medications on time, or if this person has managed to eat at all owing to a busy schedule. I have started sleeping by 11 pm, something that I thought is impossible. How could I say no to another episode of my favourite series? But guess that's what happens when you make yourself the priority and just do things that you want to do, without seeking anybody else's approval.
On the last note, probably my next blog would be about me meeting a therapist and taking notes on how not to be so self-obsessed. Also, maybe, Happy Valentine's Day to those who care. I would also like to remind you that February 21 is celebrated as Breakup Day, in case it helps.
