Confused thoughts

Lockdown 1: We can do this together. We just need a new task every week to look forward to.

Lockdown 2: I miss dining outside, so I'll learn to cook my favourite dishes. I'll start by baking a cake because apparently, that's a new skill that HRs are going to look for post-pandemic.  

Lockdown 3: I am being fired. I am not being fired. I am being fired. I am not being fired. Am I being fired?

Lockdown 4: I have learnt to co-exist with lizards.

Future lockdowns: Dobby wants to be free.

Well, that summarises my last few weeks. But how are you? Alive, I'm assuming. Some weren't as lucky. Here’s a new term for you - tree sexism! Thanks to people’s preference towards male trees.  

I've been spending the lockdown praying that things get back to normal soon, so Salman bhai can start shooting and stop singing, writing or selling sanitisers. When I'm not busy working, on Netflix, weighing in on internet wars (YouTube is way better btw) or avoiding bhai's songs, I can be found exploring Bumble, the app that took ladies first tad too seriously. To break the ice, I asked a match, 'Sunrise or sunset?', and he replied, 'Sleep'. Well, I'd vibe with that thought but that's all people seem to be doing this lockdown. Me? I mostly use it as an excuse to ignore calls and texts since I can no more lie about being out and busy. Though there is one thing I absolutely look forward to every day - the after workout photos of Dulquer Salmaan <3.

Life hasn't been easy. But at least there are some things that haven't changed. I still have the same reply guy. Money Heist is still overrated. The Indian series on Netflix are still as bad. Michael's cameo in The Office finale still makes me cry. I'm still single. Telecallers have continued to be in touch. I have been atmanirbhar before Modiji made it cool. I still hate weather updates from God's favourite child, Bangalore. However, one thing has changed. Corona doesn't scare me as much as the electricity bill does. 

Life in the time of corona

Hi! I have an update. Of course, the update isn't about the lockdown, I am no Internet Explorer. So... I got over my Twitter crush and this has got nothing to do with him dating someone else. God promise. Yes, people still do that. Jokes aside, how are you taking this lockdown? I know one group that's quite upset - the ones whose birthday falls during this duration. While some are making do by cutting bananas instead of a cake, others are making elaborate virtual birthday party plans. Introverts like me love virtual birthday parties where I can sing the birthday song and excuse myself, while also marking my attendance. Before inviting me to yours, please remember that I am a terrible singer.

How am I taking this lockdown? Well, I am just happy to have got my eyebrows done in time, just before it all began. I am looking forward to doing a lot of things, cleaning my closet is not one of them. I want to sit with my friends, maintaining a 6 ft distance of course, or assemble in respective balconies and play Name-Place-Animal-Thing. Read a book before retiring to bed. Maybe watch a few movies. Write a lot. And also work, because this isn't a vacation for most of us. Meanwhile, I also want to feel sorry for my friends who have to literally be in front of a camera throughout their office hours while working from home. The management might be a fan of Bigg Boss, but they are taking the obsession to a different level by also giving them their daily tasks.

Just a day before all hell broke loose, I lived a moment that made me quite proud. Eight years after leaving college as a student, I returned as a guest to judge a pageant. That's another story that a few thought I am still a student. Can't complain if I manage to look so young! But just how many of us have the privilege to be invited back to our own college as a guest, and with a lot of respect?

Back to the trending topic... This time I don't have a new term for you because apparently, 'covidiot' is already too famous. I am not going to come up with numerous suggestions about what you can or cannot do during the lockdown. All I am going to ask you is to please survive this. A lot of you might be stuck with people who make you anxious, or worse, your abusers. If you want to talk to someone, please reach out to me. The least I can do is hear you out. I assure you, I have the mental bandwidth right now.

Sometimes all the coronavirus news updates, fact-checking what's right and what's not, gets overwhelming. That's when I watch a movie. Last night, I picked Notting Hill. Thought some good old romance would put me in a better mood. My favourite scene is the one where Julia Roberts says, 'I am just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her'. Sorry ma'am, but this might not be possible in a world that's in the social distancing mode. Forget Hollywood movies, we better turn to Bhojpuri songs for some advice in times of corona - woh bulaati hai magar jaaneka nahi. 

The move-on generation

Welcoming you to the blog with a photo of Kartik Aryan because he is (apparently) the poster boy of something I discuss further in the blog. I know I'm a few days late, but hello March! My Twitter crush followed me back, so it has been a good month so far. I managed to travel a lot in February but the Covid-19 outbreak has already dampened my future plans. But hey, I am not complaining. Better safe than sorry and all that.

As goes the norm, I have a new term for you — Doxing. It is used when someone searches for your private information, and publishes it, usually with malicious intent. I cannot stress enough on why one should share too little on social media. This also goes on to explain why my Instagram is locked, and why this blog has no photo of me! I have recently learnt that you can lock your Facebook profile too.

I have noticed that a new generation has emerged, it's called the move-on generation, and I am a proud member. So is Kartik Aryan, if you care. I am at an age where I have all kinds of friends — some are newly married, some will soon, some have found the one, some are in a toxic relationship, some are overlooking the red flags, some are at loggerheads with their parents because of their relationship, while some, like me, are unperturbed. But many of who belong to the last but one category swear that if things move the other way, they would move on in a jiffy. After all, we belong to the move-on generation. We rate self-respect over mama's boys who can't even stand up for their partners. We have plenty of options, thanks to the dating apps (and matrimonial sites for people with conservative parents), so we assume that we could find someone better at some point in future. Maybe in three years from now, I could tell you if this approach works!

I wanted to explore a fun story, so I got back on a dating app. It took me just 15 minutes to uninstall OkCupid. But if you are looking to date men with bios such as 'If you like water, you already like 60 per cent of me', then OkCupid is the right place for you. I did right swipe one person, just to tell him that he misspelt sapiosexual in his bio. Thought an actual sapiosexual man would like it. Too bad, he didn't 'right-swipe' me back before I uninstalled, unlike 90 other men who had too much of free time. I do not have the guts to try Tinder, so sorry, I have no fun story for you this time! Don't tell me about Bumble and the numerous other options I could try, I have given up on men already. Maybe I don't like water as much. 

(NOT) Seeking love

Starting the blog with one of my favourite photos of 2020 so far!

In my last blog, I told you about a new term I had learnt — thirst trap. 45 days into 2020, and I already have another word for you — reply guy. Of course, you can google it, I didn't make it up.

2020 has been good. As promised, I have been my only priority. I finished working on a book, which was launched by Mohammad Azharuddin, btw, and am about to get onto the next book. I took a quick vacation (to a land that must not be named in the wake of coronavirus) and that helped me in a lot of ways.

As I visit my blog for no reason, I happen to notice a draft I had saved in June 2016. I had named it 'seeking love', but had never published it. Before moving ahead, I would like you to read my thoughts from then.

"It's been over ten months since I had penned down my thoughts. I would always wonder how could my colleagues write so many (and such awesome) blogs every other day, probably the desire to tell a story never dies in them. And as I ponder upon which part of my life to open up about - I choose love.

"Love is that feeling we are always looking out for, yet it's the one feeling that's so unfamiliar to us - My friend S had put it across so beautifully. It's been a long time since I fell out of love, and the desire to fall back in love with a totally different person scared me. Yes, love did come knocking on my door but I had to turn it away, probably I was not ready for it yet. But it's the feeling of being in love that I miss, not the person. It's knowing that someone over there is glad to bear with your insanity all his life, that there's someone who would put you ahead of him, and I can go on... Of course, you could argue that friendship is a lifetime bond too but love, is different, is special.

As I enjoy being single and independent, I know that my heart is secretly looking for love, that person who will mend my heart. But I shall wait for that person to cross paths, and just like every other love story, mine would be complete too."

Fast forward to 2020! I read and I ponder, three-and-a-half years have changed me so much. I promise that I am less cheesy and less cringy now. I have realised that I can be happy in a relationship, and even without it. This feeling is liberating. I don't have to worry about someone reaching home safe every day, if the other person has had medications on time, or if this person has managed to eat at all owing to a busy schedule. I have started sleeping by 11 pm, something that I thought is impossible. How could I say no to another episode of my favourite series? But guess that's what happens when you make yourself the priority and just do things that you want to do, without seeking anybody else's approval.

On the last note, probably my next blog would be about me meeting a therapist and taking notes on how not to be so self-obsessed. Also, maybe, Happy Valentine's Day to those who care. I would also like to remind you that February 21 is celebrated as Breakup Day, in case it helps.