Goodbye and a new hello!

I have been MIA but no points for guessing who is back!

My life is good. I got my priorities right. I am not scared of Covid anymore. I am quite consistent with my workouts. I am not addicted to Instagram reels. Stress is a thing of the past. And none of that is true btw. 

It's April 2022 but nobody can tell me if Covid is a thing of the past, or a part of life now. My birthday is about a month away and it would be nice to know if I would be celebrating it after two years, or continue with the tradition of sulking? Who has been praying for a covid-free world, and do they know if it's working? I ask my nephew if he has the answer to my very valid questions but all he says is babababa so I'm assuming it's a no. 

I am entering another year where I put social media statuses that reiterates that 'being single is the best thing ever', while I secretly long for companionship. Perhaps I should believe that random influencer who swears that all the good guys are now gone and I should adopt a dog and live a happy life together! I am neither a dog person nor a cat person, just a human person if that makes sense?  

I am also trying very hard to set my sleep cycle. However, there are a couple of questions that keep me up at night - How many goodbyes are we going to say to each other until we know that it's finally over? Are goodbyes not forever? 

I open Facebook (yes, it still exists) and it reminds me of a little poem I wrote in 2010:

I'm fed up of guys, they all lie.

They break our hearts and make us cry.

Loving a guy is such a sin,

Oh! Look at the guy who has just walked in. 

I am going to have the same energy in 2022 as well. Say goodbye and wait for a new hello! 

Confused thoughts

Lockdown 1: We can do this together. We just need a new task every week to look forward to.

Lockdown 2: I miss dining outside, so I'll learn to cook my favourite dishes. I'll start by baking a cake because apparently, that's a new skill that HRs are going to look for post-pandemic.  

Lockdown 3: I am being fired. I am not being fired. I am being fired. I am not being fired. Am I being fired?

Lockdown 4: I have learnt to co-exist with lizards.

Future lockdowns: Dobby wants to be free.

Well, that summarises my last few weeks. But how are you? Alive, I'm assuming. Some weren't as lucky. Here’s a new term for you - tree sexism! Thanks to people’s preference towards male trees.  

I've been spending the lockdown praying that things get back to normal soon, so Salman bhai can start shooting and stop singing, writing or selling sanitisers. When I'm not busy working, on Netflix, weighing in on internet wars (YouTube is way better btw) or avoiding bhai's songs, I can be found exploring Bumble, the app that took ladies first tad too seriously. To break the ice, I asked a match, 'Sunrise or sunset?', and he replied, 'Sleep'. Well, I'd vibe with that thought but that's all people seem to be doing this lockdown. Me? I mostly use it as an excuse to ignore calls and texts since I can no more lie about being out and busy. Though there is one thing I absolutely look forward to every day - the after workout photos of Dulquer Salmaan <3.

Life hasn't been easy. But at least there are some things that haven't changed. I still have the same reply guy. Money Heist is still overrated. The Indian series on Netflix are still as bad. Michael's cameo in The Office finale still makes me cry. I'm still single. Telecallers have continued to be in touch. I have been atmanirbhar before Modiji made it cool. I still hate weather updates from God's favourite child, Bangalore. However, one thing has changed. Corona doesn't scare me as much as the electricity bill does. 

Life in the time of corona

Hi! I have an update. Of course, the update isn't about the lockdown, I am no Internet Explorer. So... I got over my Twitter crush and this has got nothing to do with him dating someone else. God promise. Yes, people still do that. Jokes aside, how are you taking this lockdown? I know one group that's quite upset - the ones whose birthday falls during this duration. While some are making do by cutting bananas instead of a cake, others are making elaborate virtual birthday party plans. Introverts like me love virtual birthday parties where I can sing the birthday song and excuse myself, while also marking my attendance. Before inviting me to yours, please remember that I am a terrible singer.

How am I taking this lockdown? Well, I am just happy to have got my eyebrows done in time, just before it all began. I am looking forward to doing a lot of things, cleaning my closet is not one of them. I want to sit with my friends, maintaining a 6 ft distance of course, or assemble in respective balconies and play Name-Place-Animal-Thing. Read a book before retiring to bed. Maybe watch a few movies. Write a lot. And also work, because this isn't a vacation for most of us. Meanwhile, I also want to feel sorry for my friends who have to literally be in front of a camera throughout their office hours while working from home. The management might be a fan of Bigg Boss, but they are taking the obsession to a different level by also giving them their daily tasks.

Just a day before all hell broke loose, I lived a moment that made me quite proud. Eight years after leaving college as a student, I returned as a guest to judge a pageant. That's another story that a few thought I am still a student. Can't complain if I manage to look so young! But just how many of us have the privilege to be invited back to our own college as a guest, and with a lot of respect?

Back to the trending topic... This time I don't have a new term for you because apparently, 'covidiot' is already too famous. I am not going to come up with numerous suggestions about what you can or cannot do during the lockdown. All I am going to ask you is to please survive this. A lot of you might be stuck with people who make you anxious, or worse, your abusers. If you want to talk to someone, please reach out to me. The least I can do is hear you out. I assure you, I have the mental bandwidth right now.

Sometimes all the coronavirus news updates, fact-checking what's right and what's not, gets overwhelming. That's when I watch a movie. Last night, I picked Notting Hill. Thought some good old romance would put me in a better mood. My favourite scene is the one where Julia Roberts says, 'I am just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her'. Sorry ma'am, but this might not be possible in a world that's in the social distancing mode. Forget Hollywood movies, we better turn to Bhojpuri songs for some advice in times of corona - woh bulaati hai magar jaaneka nahi. 

The move-on generation

Welcoming you to the blog with a photo of Kartik Aryan because he is (apparently) the poster boy of something I discuss further in the blog. I know I'm a few days late, but hello March! My Twitter crush followed me back, so it has been a good month so far. I managed to travel a lot in February but the Covid-19 outbreak has already dampened my future plans. But hey, I am not complaining. Better safe than sorry and all that.

As goes the norm, I have a new term for you — Doxing. It is used when someone searches for your private information, and publishes it, usually with malicious intent. I cannot stress enough on why one should share too little on social media. This also goes on to explain why my Instagram is locked, and why this blog has no photo of me! I have recently learnt that you can lock your Facebook profile too.

I have noticed that a new generation has emerged, it's called the move-on generation, and I am a proud member. So is Kartik Aryan, if you care. I am at an age where I have all kinds of friends — some are newly married, some will soon, some have found the one, some are in a toxic relationship, some are overlooking the red flags, some are at loggerheads with their parents because of their relationship, while some, like me, are unperturbed. But many of who belong to the last but one category swear that if things move the other way, they would move on in a jiffy. After all, we belong to the move-on generation. We rate self-respect over mama's boys who can't even stand up for their partners. We have plenty of options, thanks to the dating apps (and matrimonial sites for people with conservative parents), so we assume that we could find someone better at some point in future. Maybe in three years from now, I could tell you if this approach works!

I wanted to explore a fun story, so I got back on a dating app. It took me just 15 minutes to uninstall OkCupid. But if you are looking to date men with bios such as 'If you like water, you already like 60 per cent of me', then OkCupid is the right place for you. I did right swipe one person, just to tell him that he misspelt sapiosexual in his bio. Thought an actual sapiosexual man would like it. Too bad, he didn't 'right-swipe' me back before I uninstalled, unlike 90 other men who had too much of free time. I do not have the guts to try Tinder, so sorry, I have no fun story for you this time! Don't tell me about Bumble and the numerous other options I could try, I have given up on men already. Maybe I don't like water as much. 

(NOT) Seeking love

Starting the blog with one of my favourite photos of 2020 so far!

In my last blog, I told you about a new term I had learnt — thirst trap. 45 days into 2020, and I already have another word for you — reply guy. Of course, you can google it, I didn't make it up.

2020 has been good. As promised, I have been my only priority. I finished working on a book, which was launched by Mohammad Azharuddin, btw, and am about to get onto the next book. I took a quick vacation (to a land that must not be named in the wake of coronavirus) and that helped me in a lot of ways.

As I visit my blog for no reason, I happen to notice a draft I had saved in June 2016. I had named it 'seeking love', but had never published it. Before moving ahead, I would like you to read my thoughts from then.

"It's been over ten months since I had penned down my thoughts. I would always wonder how could my colleagues write so many (and such awesome) blogs every other day, probably the desire to tell a story never dies in them. And as I ponder upon which part of my life to open up about - I choose love.

"Love is that feeling we are always looking out for, yet it's the one feeling that's so unfamiliar to us - My friend S had put it across so beautifully. It's been a long time since I fell out of love, and the desire to fall back in love with a totally different person scared me. Yes, love did come knocking on my door but I had to turn it away, probably I was not ready for it yet. But it's the feeling of being in love that I miss, not the person. It's knowing that someone over there is glad to bear with your insanity all his life, that there's someone who would put you ahead of him, and I can go on... Of course, you could argue that friendship is a lifetime bond too but love, is different, is special.

As I enjoy being single and independent, I know that my heart is secretly looking for love, that person who will mend my heart. But I shall wait for that person to cross paths, and just like every other love story, mine would be complete too."

Fast forward to 2020! I read and I ponder, three-and-a-half years have changed me so much. I promise that I am less cheesy and less cringy now. I have realised that I can be happy in a relationship, and even without it. This feeling is liberating. I don't have to worry about someone reaching home safe every day, if the other person has had medications on time, or if this person has managed to eat at all owing to a busy schedule. I have started sleeping by 11 pm, something that I thought is impossible. How could I say no to another episode of my favourite series? But guess that's what happens when you make yourself the priority and just do things that you want to do, without seeking anybody else's approval.

On the last note, probably my next blog would be about me meeting a therapist and taking notes on how not to be so self-obsessed. Also, maybe, Happy Valentine's Day to those who care. I would also like to remind you that February 21 is celebrated as Breakup Day, in case it helps. 

Happy 2020, Neha!

Had to start the blog with an extremely random and unrelated travel photo, because that's when I am the happiest. While being random, and of course, while travelling. 

I am spending the New Year's Eve doing what I love the most - write. Partying is overrated and I am sure many of you would agree. I could join my parents in watching TV and maybe start the countdown with Salman Bhai, but I am locked up in my room, refusing to give up on this me-time that I have started enjoying of late.

I learnt a lot of things this year - including this unnecessary term thirst trap. I also learnt that the decade started in 2010, and is ending today. I was single when the decade started, and I am also single while it ends. My colleague Leemi feels this would make for a great meme, but I tweeted and only two people liked it, so you know who I'm not approaching for any advice the next time. Also hope that I don't end the next decade the same way. Would be too old to be finding 'love' on Bumble.

I have a lot to reflect this year. The year started with an ailment, which completely changed me as a person and gave me germophobia! I was too scared to make a decision at the starting of the year but glad that finally, it unfolded on its own in November with absolutely no effort from my side. My friends, yet again proved that I can always fall back on them, and they continue to be my strength. My family is the greatest gift, and I thank my mum for my good looks (leave this blog if you disagree). My sister taught me the power of charity (her will to help strangers in need is commendable, but that's a story for another day). And my dad taught me the power of never giving up. I have learnt that when someone rejects you without even knowing you then you aren't responsible for it  (*cough* recruiters *cough*). I have also learnt that whatever happens, happens for the best.

This year I could call myself a published author. I had fulfilled a goal when it came to my career, and I am absolutely proud of all my achievements. But I am not going to make this blog about bragging, it is in fact about the things and people around me that have changed me for good. Gaurav, a stranger in a foreign land, who agreed to help while I desperately needed it, thank you because they don't make men like you anymore. And Kuldep Sethi, who pushed me for months to stay fit before I finally hit the gym, you don't know how proud my parents are of me today. To all my friends, who are proud of my achievements, and who brag about me in front of their friends and families, thank you, and I love you! Also to the ones who talk about this best friend and the celeb interviews she did, to impress their dates, thank you to you too :P This was also the year where I grew distant to an extremely close friend. It's been a year and I still don't have the guts to confront and admit what went wrong simply because I don't want to recall something that hurt me. I learnt that you lose people, and it is okay!

2020 is going to be a year where I focus on someone who is extremely important to me - me! So Happy 2020, Neha. I am proud of you for surviving the ups and downs, for successfully staying away from negativity and drama, for making someone's wish come true, for realising the power of self-love and for being the person that you are. 

A road trip I wish never ended

I always loved last minute plans. But birthdays are something that you wouldn't want to screw up with, planning in the last hour. So I carefully started planning over a month in advance- weekend getaway options, friends, budget, dates, leaves, permissions- the check list was ready. All me and my friends couldn't decide on was a destination.

May 22, 4 pm: My friends were on time to pick me up, but neither of us knew where we are headed to. As we reached to pick up another friend, we fought over destinations. Mr. Adventurous Aakash wanted to explore a new place every hour. He sometimes wanted to go to Ooty and sometimes wanted to visit Dandeli and oh yes, Kabini Jungle resort and the list goes on. Mr I-agree-with-everything Aditya was obviously agreeing with whatever places Mr adventurous threw. Then we picked up Ms I-only-want-mobile-hotspot Priyanka, who just like Aditya, agreed with everything, as long as she had access to Internet :P. But Bengaluru was a place I personally wanted to visit. On my birthday, I wanted to be around my favourite people and Bengaluru hosts two of my best friends, so the choice was obvious. (P.S. I had never been to the city previously.)

Disney fan :P

9 pm: We realised we would be reaching Bengaluru in next 3 hours (at least that's what we assumed) but still did not have an accommodation. But hey, din't I tell you about how awesome last-minute plans are? We quickly stopped by, booked an accommodation we had been dodging for over 48 hours and voila! the  plan seemed to have fallen into place. As we passed by, Priyanka, a devotee of lord Hanuman, spotted a temple and said that we must visit it. We heard her and moved  on. 

2.30 am: As we reached Bengaluru, we were overwhelmed to have been welcomed by four street dogs (read angry street dogs). But the apartment made up for everything. A private terrace, a studio apartment, a room of our own and with the best people around me, the best way to kickstart my birthday. :D You know the best part? Mr  Adventurous (oh, and did I say nature lover) Aakash was still fighting over the  destination we must explore 200 kilometres away from the city. But did we care?  Oh yes, we did. But that night we retired to our beds as all of us were tired. But Mr I-agree-with-everything Aditya agreed to stay awake since I wasn't sleepy. Did I mention how awesome late night conversations are? Ok, now you know. Oh btw, it was Priyanka who wished me first (followed by Aditya and Aakash). Whoever she informed about the plan were upset and secretly wished that it got cancelled, but she made it to the trip. Speaks volumes about how much she loves me and I love her moreeee. (Ok, she doesn't like PDA :P)

 

Next day went as planned. Birthday with my favourite people- Priyanka, Aakash, Aditya, Sharath and Akash. The best part? Akash and his cake. Did I tell you how much I love you for this, Aku? A mango cake because there is a reason behind it. :)  

My favourite people- Sharath, Akash, me, Aakash, Aditya and Priyanka. That's Sharath's favourite pose btw :P Like he always says, 'PEACE' :P

Next stop: Look your best and go party! The best way to bring down the birthday. My beautiful group of friends :*

One of the best birthdays till date. Well, we still had another day to spend in Bengaluru and Aakash made an amazing adventurous plan and guess what? He slept over it and never woke up on time to make it happen. And I was secretly happy about it :D We are a bunch of lazy people, oh yes! There was nothing much worth mentioning about the next day, except for that I found Rockstar chappals, which I had been hunting for the past 3 years. Calls for a celebration. :D Everything else is best kept secret. ;)


Last day of trip: We woke up at 3:30 am to fulfill one last desire of Aakash, to visit Nandi Hills. And god, do I regret? The place was so beautiful. As we drove by the foggy roads, steady drizzle, we surely experienced bliss. As I quietly sat at a corner, lost in the beauty, wishing I could stay there for longer... not interacting... just me, my thoughts and a lot of peace. Just as I was lost in thoughts, Priyanka took me along for a few photos. And then we left for Hyderabad, never wanting to depart.

Of course no, the story doesn't end here. Life isn't a bed of roses. You need to experience a few thorns as well. If everything went right, what stories would I have shared with you. Things had to go wrong, at least for my blog.

TRIP Part 2:

Aditya and Aakash trying to
change the tyre. Bad photography
credit: Priyanka :P

As we were excited about being just two hours away from home, our car decided to give up. We experienced everything that you would while on a road trip, as they show in movies - car breaking down, strangers stopping by to see what is wrong, passerby, more passerby and then finally that one good soul that decides to help when you almost give up.

Hero Aditya with superhero Mahesh :P

Mahesh, resident of a nearby village, was passing by with two of his friends when he noticed us and stopped by. We asked him if he could take one of us to the nearest puncture shop, which he did. He helped us get the mechanic till the car and we thought he is doing it for a few quick bucks. But when we offered him money, he politely refused and stayed with us till the car was fine. Though the car wasn't absolutely fine, we had to drive depending on two screws or bolts or whatever you call them, and had to restrict ourselves to 60 km/hr to 70km/hr, I was glad that Mahesh did what he could to help us without expecting anything in return. Imagine, what would have happened if help did not arrive while my friends were trying hard to do their bit in the scorching sun. 

While we sat at a hut-shaped shop that sold food near the puncture repair point, we noticed a Hanuman temple right next to us (remember Priyanka wanted to visit one?) Coincidence much? At least I thought so. :)

We later reached Hyderabad, but not without our share of memories. There were many firsts during this trip- First road trip with friends (travelling over a thousand kms), first time got birthday bumps, first time a sense of independence induced into us and a lot more. Though the trip was just for 3 days, it gave me memories that would last a lifetime.

Priyanka, Aakash and Aditya, thank you so much for making it happen. And as we know, APAN awesome :)

Cheers!

As I finish writing this blog at 3.30 am, I realise that late night conversations are the best. It is that hour of the day when you are most comfortable talking about anything. Agree?